Interview - Audrey Marie (Devil Dollies)
Riv , 2006/04/09 23:43

Help Audrey Marie by voting for her on BREAK.COM by clicking HERE: Audrey Marie on Break.com

Here on JasonRivera.com we've done interviews with all sorts, of models, celebrities, random assclowns, and the like. It's been a while since we've done them though, so we're kicking off our series of four interviews with models from the Devil Dollies, whom you can check out on their MySpace at http://www.myspace.com/devildolls and also on their up and coming website, http://www.devildollies.com/ So without futher delay here's our interview with the Devil Dollies' Audrey Marie...

Hmm... Deja Vu, the feeling I've done an interview with this girl before...

To start with, are there any upcoming shows/projects, things you're working on you want to pimp out? Here's the chance.

May 20th at Breakers (in Jonesboro, Georgia) is the Devil Dollies launch party. BE THERE!!!

Audrey, dear. You've got a reputation for using foul language that preceeds you. How many times have you said the word FUCK today?

2,736,578. After that I lost count.

Actually JasonRivera.com intelligence reports under the rough, violent, potetially sociopathic extorior, that on the inside you, much like Cadbury Eggs you have a sweet cream filling and a soft spot for animals. Tell us a bit about your stance on that.

>

I suppose you're talking about my stance on animals and not Cadbury Eggs. Yes, I am an animal lover. I'm a member of the ASPCA and The Humane Society of The US. I don't use any cosmetic item that has been tested on animals and I urge other women to do the same.

Actually, I *WAS* talking about the Cadbury eggs, but I guess that's a good answer. As a lovely, yet single lady - you get a lot of offers, albeit from guys who aren't quite up to speed. Tell us the criteria one must meet for satisfying Audrey Marie.

Well, after back to back assholes I really just want a nice guy who'll treat me the way I deserve to be treated. I like a good sense of humor; they have to be able to make me laugh. I'm not a materialistic girl, but I appreciate a guy who has direction. All and all, I just want to be truly loved for who I am and give the same in return.

Aww. Everyone need love. Do you know that it's true? And also... since you have had so many jackoffs try to go for you, especially on the Space that is My, mind sharing with us your most recent pathetic, ugly, hideous, worthless LOSER that you've had to tell to FUCK OFF?

Hmm, nothing interesting lately. Jason Foster's been stalking my page I see, though. Eww.

Oh, the fun part: Tell us who you hate, why you hatethem, and give them as big a fuck you as you want, but since we are limited on space here, please try to limit it to 10,000 words or less.

Mexicans - Not all Mexicans, but the ones who are here illegally and don't bother to learn English to actually be able to communicate in this country. Why should I have to bend for these fuckers and learn their language in the hopes I'd get paid more at work or get the job before someone else did? Put an electric fence around that border already!!!

I don't realllllly hate anyone else, just dislike people and their ethics.

What do you think is the most God-awful worst musician/band/artist walking the face of God's green earth today and if you had to choose a horrible end for them, what would it be?

HIM!! Goddddd, I HATE that band. He better be glad he got the hookup from BAM otherwise he would've had to screw A LOT of people to get to where he is today. I hope he dies of full blown AIDS.

Remember kids, HIM is just 9 letters off from HIV. Now Audrey, Rate the Following as IN or OUT:

--Harry Potter: IN!!
--The Olsen Twins: OUT, unless they do Playboy.
--Mel Gibson's Ass: OUT
--Hot Topic: EH
--Sith: IN!!
--Jedi: IN!!!
--Wal-Mart: OUTTTTTT!!!!
--REBELDE: what??
No wonder you're always angry, you've never seen REBELDE!!!

You've had some rough relationships, but if you had to pick a worst of the worst, out of the guys you've been with that should be BANNED from ever dating anyone again, who is it, and why?

Hmm, hard choice since they've all sucked. If I had to chose, it'd be my last boyfriend because he's an absolute moron/ass among other reasons I won't delve into right now. There's not enough hours in the day.

Reasons you won't delve into? He must have a very small penis... We'll skip all those details for n but let's get to the important question: JUANES? Yes/No/Maybe?

Who? If he's Mexican, no.

Fool! Juanes transcends ethnicity!!! Weed, Cigarettes, Alcohol, Cursing. If you could only have ONE of these things, and had to give up the other three... which gets your ultimate vote?

OH NOOOOOOO!!!! I'd stick with cigarettes since I've done that for a long time and it's fairly cheap. I could still say "gosh darn" right?

Only if you get the guy from the radio commercials to do it for you... When you wake up in the morning, what is the one most important thought that drives you to get out of bed and seize the day?

That I want to make something of myself and never have to rely on anyone to take care of me.

Don't lie: Is it Juanes? Be honest, now.

Fuck you!

Only if you ask nicely. What WAS a little lady like you doing driving something as powerful a V8 Camaro anyway? And while we're on the subject of cars, what's your dream car?

Don't be a sexist pig. My dream car is a black '68 Camaro Z28. It will be mine oneday, yes. And that will be a glorious, tear-filled day.

Me, chauvenistic? Never! Hypothetical Situation Time: Let's say you're dating this amazing guy. All is well. The relationship has lasted about four years when suddenly tragedy strikes. In a bad accident he's knocked fucking retarded. He's still the same guy, but not quite. He drools a lot, poops a lot, and generally acts like he has Down Syndrome. Does love prevail, or does love say "SEE YA LATER, CORKY?"

Sounds like guys I've already dated. HA! It's hard to judge not being in that situation. They might be a completely different person from what they were before. I would stay around as long as possible, but if its not going to work I'd have to leave.

What's the first thing that comes to mind when you see THIS PHOTO:

I don't hate on homos.

When we're all old and nasty and disgusting and no one wants to touch any of us and shit, what one movie do you think will have defined our generation?

I don't think movies define a generation, at least I hope not.

Underwear, what's your preference? Or do you just go commando?

Like most girls, I love lingerie... pretty lingerie.

Rate the following: 10 being someone who you'd let bang you like a champion, and 1 being someone you wouldn't fuck with someone else's vagina.

The Juggernaut, BITCH.
1

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
0

JUANES!
0
yep, thought so.

Fit Finlay
0

Elvis Aaron Presley
10Ooooh! I love Elvis!!

Rob Zombie
9, even though he's getting old, he's still hot.

Pinhead.
2That's not the original Pinhead.

Daniel, JasonRivera.com Fan and Reader.
0Nooooo!!!

Me.

I already asked you the Tendick's question once, so I'll just have to come up with a new question: Have you been to WAL-MART lately? Because Jason Foster, the Wal-Mart employee that stalks you, REALLY WANTS TO KNOW.

Actually, yes. I hate Wal-Mart, though and I feel like I lose brain cells every time I step foot in there.

So there you have it. An angry girl who hates Mexicans, Juanes, uses the word FUCK a lot, and wants the Olsen Twins to do Playboy. You can check her out on DevilDollies.com and also on her official MySpace, and be sure to let them know JasonRivera.com sent ya... Stay tuned for more DD interviews on JasonRivera.com.

Help Audrey Marie by voting for her on BREAK.COM by clicking HERE: Audrey Marie on Break.com

-- Riv - jasonrivera@jasonrivera.com